I’m in a rut. I’m in a school with a negative atmosphere, and it’s getting to me. I need some encouragement, because I’m starting to feel helpless and defeated. What do you do to boost yourself back up when you start buying into the negative crap?
I just made a grocery list. This is significant for two reasons.
1. I never cook for myself. I eat out constantly. Partially because I’m lazy and partially because it’s hard to cook for just one person. But this is a practical grocery list that won’t cost as much as eating out and should ease me into spending time in the kitchen. It’s doable.
2. I made this list without thinking about losing weight. Whenever I decide to quit eating out and start cooking, it’s always because I want to lose weight. And I would be lying if I said I didn’t still want to. But I purposefully did not look at nutrition facts when making this list. I didn’t choose foods that I know are “health foods”. I picked whole, natural foods that sounded good. Eating out constantly makes me feel lethargic and gross. Eating more real food will make me feel better. That’s as deep as I’m going with it. No numbers game, no battle with the scale or the tag on a new pair of pants. No plans or goals to fail at. I’m just going to eat food. This is a NOVEL idea. Seriously, for so many people, eating is not just eating. Eating is an emotionally scarring, ongoing struggle. I’ve fought it for too long and I want a break.
I’m going to try and learn to enjoy food rather than fear it. This is the first on the list of things I feel I deserve. Hopefully, this will be the start to changing the way I see myself and the way I deserve to live my life.